Dear E.F.,

Dear E.F,

Have you ever felt your heart ache?

Well, that's what I've been experiencing ever since I stopped you from hanging yourself.

I thought things would get better to be honest. But it's been absolute torture for me because I've found myself slipping away and I just want to blame you for rippling the water.

I hate what I'm feeling, and I wish it would stop. Because I was once comfortable with the way how things were, and I finally came to terms with how my life was. But you brought out the me I've tried pushing away.

Now I question love.
I question happiness.
And I question the way my life should be lived.

I cannot keep you off my mind, and I don't know why. Perhaps it was the way you rippled the calm ocean, like a storm with large, dark clouds bringing the storm. And it aches for me to admit that I still love you.

I feel so mad because we are different now, and it hurts. I want you to need me, yet I don't want you to. I want to talk to you, but now things are so strange and you seem resentful. Like you stabbed my heart after I revealed me soul to you. And because of that, all I could hear are the echoes of your disgust towards me and its cutting the wounds back open.

I want to move on, but I feel completely stuck. Worse of all, I feel completely alone. I want to scream for help like you did, but I'm afraid. Because things aren't the same anymore. Because I think you would resent me, the one person who understood where I was coming from. Maybe I truly believe I am alone, and writing to you in my only solace.

Isn't it funny that I'm becoming to be like you in that sense?

I wish someone could take the pain away from me and tell me I'm overreacting.